Soul of the Butterfly
by Youkomon
Summary: Guilmon likes chasing butterflies...yet he's never caught the most important one of all...(more details inside) YAOI


Okay, this is quite possibly the darkest thing I have ever written…contains blood, character death and yaoi hints. This is told in Guilmon's point of view and he is very out of character but this explained further on in this story.

Mute: In order to compensate for this dark fic she is currently working on a much nicer Renamon/Takato one-shot. And she's done 10% of chapter nine of An Unlikely Partnership.

Me: I don't own Digimon, which is probably a good thing come to think of it… (Twiddles thumbs and waits for the flames to start)

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Damn. Missed.

Isn't that always the way? Whenever you get close to one they sense you somehow, there's a whirlwind of delicate wings and a dazzle of streaking colours and then they're gone. I've never caught a butterfly.

"Guilmon!"

He's here! Voice of sunlight! Heh. I'm being serious. Every time he speaks it is though sunbeams coat my skin with gentle caresses and golden warmth. More importantly, it's filled with honesty, unlimited love for whoever he is speaking to, all his heart and soul contained in there. What mere insect could rival that?

"You hungry boy? I brought Guilmon bread!"

Funny though how delicate he is. One swipe from me and I could crush his life into the unfeeling space of nothing. Just like a butterfly when a cruel toddler stamps down on it's pretty form laughing so it's precious life is expelled from it's body. I repress a shudder at the thought. While my data still breathes that will never happen. Never will any harm befall the boy with his sparkling eyes and vast, gold, radiant heart that glows whenever he speaks or even looks at someone. Shinning just like the intricate patterns of a butterfly's wings.

"Yay! Guilmon bread!" I cry out forcing a childish giggle to arise from my throat. I still keep up this pretence of being innocent and immature. In a way I still am. I still chase butterflies. But I've changed. When I turned into Megidramon I became aware of all the darker and more negative aspects of life. Sure, Takato reverted me back to Guilmon the sweet dinosaur everyone loved and knew. But I couldn't shake off all that I had felt and experienced as that bloodthirsty monster. Then I bio-merged with Takato and together we were transformed into Gallantmon. My mind was linked to Takato's and suddenly everything made sense. Just as we became one so did our comprehension of life. I was forced to grow up fast as I gazed into Takato's mind and understood what he did; how actions have consequences, how naive I was and how someone can say one thing and yet mean something else. The meaning of deceit was born into my head and I felt as though I was viewing life as I had never done before.

Takato laughs as I tuck into the bread that wonderful grin of his plastered on his face. I'm silently rejoicing that I brought that smile out into the open. That smile of happiness that is tinged with innocence. The reason I pretend to be even more childish than he is. If he knew how much I had changed it would…well to be bluntly I don't think he would quite be the same again. That smile…I've never seen him flash it at anyone in the same way he does so to me. It's a personalised version of the grin he gives to everyone else. Something special reserved for only me. And I'm not certain but if I were to give away the fact that I no longer possess the same innocence I once did well then that could change…and I don't want that. I want to be treated in the same way he treats me now not the way he treats Rika, Renamon, Terriermon and everyone else. Because it would mean that he didn't consider me to be 'special' anymore. I couldn't bear that anymore.

"Ohh…"

I look up, mouth locked in the embrace of salvia coated bread before rapidly swallowing it down.

"What's wrong Takatomon?"

"I'm late for Jeri! I promised her I'll meet her by three!"

At once a spark of jealously runs through my body and I let out a low growl causing Takato to look at me in concern and surprise. Seeing this I force my features into a disappointed grimace. His face softens in return.

"I'm sorry Guilmon…I really am…look, I'll spend all day with you tomorrow! Okay!"

I nod slightly pacified as he scampers off but not before giving me our traditional goodbye hug. He never forgets.

Jeri…I hate that name…don't get me wrong Jeri's a nice girl and I wouldn't wish the pain of Leomon's death on anyone least of all her. But Takato's always had a crush on her and then they became boyfriend and girlfriend. I couldn't stand in the way of my tamer's happiness but still, he and Jeri were sharing the same kind of intimacy that I wished to have with him. If truth be told I'm terribly possessive of Takato and I hurt so much on the inside when he is not by my side. Instead he is drinking coffee with a brown-haired girl as they make idle chit-chat. I just pray their bond won't grow **_too _**strong…

I'm distracted by another butterfly and see it fly into a spider's web, cunningly concealed in the flower bed. The eight-legged owner scurries out, eager to claim it's prize but before it can do so a bird flies down delicately prying the butterfly from the web and swallowing it whole, leaving the spider empty handed.

I stare thoughtfully noting the bird's feathers that are comprised of the same shade of brown that resides in Jeri's eyes.

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The raindrops pelt my sun parched skin softly but I make no move to take shelter. It's been two hours and I've just stayed there pondering…

There's a flash of gold and I turn my head to acknowledge it, my eyes widening as they identify the source. It's a butterfly that visibly failing as the glamorous wings are pounded by the merciless droplets of water. The creature is struggling to stay afloat in the moist air.

Then amidst the undesirable weather a new sound enters. Crying.

My heart tears in two.

I race up to the shrivelled lump of grief-stricken muscles of Takato and envelop him in my arms in a hasty attempt to smother his sobs. I lift him up as easily as you would do a child. Hmm. I suppose in a way he still is one.

We reach the hut where he will be safe and shielded from the harsh weather until his wings dry. And I cradle him, sharing his sorrow tenfold as he sobs into my shoulder. I'm helpless until he tells me what's wrong; all I can do is pass my claws over his soft back in a reassuring motion until he calms down. And then it comes out. Between heartfelt sobs, he forces out his story with pulsing emotions. How she said it was time to end it. How she dumped him…hurt him…

I wait until his slow breath signifies he is fallen prey to sleep and gently lay him on the floor.

Eyes hardened, I run out into the rain.

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The door's unlocked for some reason. It doesn't matter. This won't take long.

I leap into the room my fury unmatched and my physical form lapping at the anger that feeds my muscles and presents them with hidden strength.

"Guilmon? What are you doing here?" Jeri inquires smiling cutely. Sweet talk isn't going to prevent her from receiving her punishment though.

I draw nearer. Teeth sinking into fleshy cushion of delicate peach stained a wine-red. Ripping, tearing, cutting even chewing…

"No Guilmon, stop!"

Pitiful creature.

She's reduced to a writhing mass of screaming jelly and broken limbs as my claws descend again and again, teeth travelling to any place that hides blood. Crimson liquid swirls my senses into a fog but one thought burns brightly in my mind: Revenge.

Eventually she lays still…even her chest. My claws probe the smashed rib cage harshly, satisfied as yet another snap is made in the air.

Do I feel any remorse? Maybe a little. But the rage within me incinerates the stab of conscience almost as quickly as it comes.

I look outside the window. There's a brown bird out there somewhere that is exhaling it's last breath as the smug spider watches in it's web from a hawthorn bush.

I arrive back the hut to find a wide-eyed Takato.

"Where did you go Guilmon? What did you do?" he asks rapidly, a tone of fear evident in his voice.

I smile and shake my head at his silliness. I tell him that I sorted out Jeri and we came to a compromise. There's no need to destroy his sweet nature by introducing him to the concept of revenge. And by not telling him the whole truth…well that's just preserving his innocence isn't it?

"Thank you Guilmon…"

"No problem!"

"I still can't believe she did that though…I'm sorry…" he murmurs as he dissolves into his sorrow again.

"Don't be", I tell him.

"No, no, no, no, no…" his murmuring voice fades into the violence of course sobbing dominating his body. He doesn't resist the ebony daggers that encircle his waist and pull him onto my lap. Mine.

I listen enchanted to the haunting melody of his crying. All his emotions are beautiful and are so worth listening to. Because they make up his caring spirit. They make Takato what he is.

My daggers rake his soft carpet of hair affectionately nurturing what belongs to me as I rock him to and fro, in time to the rhythm of his heart.

The spider ensnares the butterfly because they are enraptured by the beauty of it's soul. I've caught my butterfly at last and there's no way I'll let it go.


End file.
